Thank you to those parents who were able to make the meeting on Wednesday night. Since a large number of parents wanted to attend but could not, I have provided a brief summary for you.
The ministry year has gone well. The Lord has blessed us with solid attendance numbers on Wednesday nights. However, numbers don’t get me excited. Seeing student’s hearts being changed by the gospel does. I have seen highs and lows this past semester, but in general, I believe that the Lord is doing a good work through this ministry.
Having been the youth pastor at Redeemer for awhile now, I have been able to evaluate where we are and where I feel we need to be heading with the ministry. I have been able to consider my role as the youth pastor and how I can be used most effectively. Even though I am officially the youth pastor, I believe that God has called me to families–both children and parents–not just the youth.
Why do I feel that calling? An article I read recently was able to put into words the thoughts that have been swirling in my mind. (Click here to read the article for yourself. I highly recommend it.) The author cites recent studies that point to the degree of influence that a parent has when it comes to the spiritual life of a teenager. No other person can come close to the influence that a parent has: not a coach, a teacher, a small group leader, or even a youth pastor.
Then came the obvious realization in my mind: If I want to impact students with the gospel and do so in a way that is most effective, I should be facilitating relationships between teenagers and the people that have the most influence in a child’s life.
We took a little time to explore the parent / teen relationship during our parent meeting. I know that it can be difficult, not from personal experience, but from listening to both teenagers and parents. My heart began to really ache for parents of teenagers who felt like they were really struggling in their relationship with their child.
After finishing Paul David Tripp’s book Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens (one of the excellent resources that we are providing on the bookshelf in the Blue Room), I felt like every parent needed to read the book. I would love to go through it with a group of parents, and I wanted to convey so much of his insight to parents at our meeting. Instead of trying to talk about everything, we honed in on a couple of things in particular: the goal of parenting the spiritual life of the parents.
What are the goals that you have for your children? To what are you striving? What are you trying to produce in your child? We can give a wide variety of answers to those questions, but the ultimate goal for our children must be cultivating faith in Christ that displays itself through a love for God and others. Our goal should be our children’s heart.
In the previously mentioned article, the author quotes Dr. Christian Smith: “When it comes to kids’ faith, parents get what they are.” The spiritual life of a parent has a huge impact on the spiritual life of their children. So, how is your spiritual life?
Here are some practical questions to ask yourself:
How often do you share your spiritual walk with your children, both the ups and the downs?
When is the last time that you actually confessed to your child for a sin that you committed, either against them or another person?
What spiritual lessons are your children learning from your life, not just from what you say but also from what you do?
How often do you have spiritual conversations with you children?
How often does your family have dedicated time where you read the Bible and pray together?
How often do you personally have dedicated time where you read the Bible and pray?
The purpose of these questions is not to create a sense of guilt. Instead, they are meant to challenge us as parents to honestly evaluate our own relationship with Christ, not only for the sake of our children, but also for our benefit and for the benefit and glory of God.
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